Why Women Test Men

By Jim Campbell

March 29, 2018

Are you up for the test?


You’ve got to understand first that when a woman is dealing with a man she’s considering as a potential mate, one of her top priorities is finding out if this guy really is a strong, confident, successful man.


In both primal times and still today, ending up pregnant with the child of a weak, unsuccessful man meant and means bad news: lack of proper support from that man; lack of protection by him; susceptibility to the risks of the weak (jealousy, insecurity, anger, spousal abuse); a far higher chance of having a weak child.

Weak men are dangerous men.

Couldn’t be more classic than if it were taken from the classic hit “Games People Play.”

Forty years ago, “Games People Play.” revolutionized our understanding of what really goes on during our most basic social interactions.

More than five million copies later, Dr. Eric Berne’s classic is as astonishing–and revealing–as it was on the day it was first published.



But a woman can’t go by just what a man says when she’s trying to assess his strength.

If she asks a man, “Are you a strong, successful, confident man?” every single man, no matter how true or not it is for him, is going to say, “Why yes of course I am.”




There’s a learning curve in women; the least experienced women often haven’t realized the need to test men yet, so might not test men much, and what tests they do try are clumsy and weaker men make it past them more easily.

As women grow in experience with men, though, their tests get tighter and more pointed and they get better at figuring out the strong men from the rest with speed, accuracy, and efficiency.

Music for this article.

In the game of mating, the arms race is ongoing; the men who want to position themselves as ideal mates and cover up their flaws, and the women who want to separate the wheat from the chaff and expose what flaws exist and where they exist.

Women test men to better to know who those men really are.

They test them to know whether they truly are strong – or whether they’re just pretenders.

They use tests because the same test that rolls off the nose of a strong man without ruffling a single feather of his will completely throw off a less confident man, and send him scrambling into damage control.

As it were, tests are an extremely effective method for women to find out how strong and successful and confident a man really is, because responses to tests are quite difficult to fake.

Women are looking mostly at a man’s nonverbals, and nonverbals are extremely challenging to misrepresent. It’s easier to just get strong and confident and successful than it is to fake being strong and confident and successful.

For understanding why women test, it’s helpful to understand the emotions a woman is feeling when she tests. The emotions typically are one of the following:

  • Playfulness
  • Frustration
  • Disgust
  • Dismissal

All, stated otherwise, “borderline” emotions. Emotions she feels when she’s on the fence about a guy and not dead-set on going to bed with him or, conversely, on counting him out as a sexual option altogether.

If a woman is testing a man playfully, it’s because she’s interested, but not yet convinced. She’s enjoying spending time with him, but doesn’t take him fully seriously yet (that doesn’t mean she won’t later). Her sentiment is basically, “This guy is cute. I wonder if he’s the real deal…”

If a woman’s testing a man in frustration, disgust, or dismissal, she’s in one of a variety of stages of auto-rejection and is, by testing him, throwing him a lifeline at redemption. Her sentiment is basically, “I hope he says or does the right thing in response to this test and makes me change my mind about him.”

Take note that women will not test two specific types of men:

  • Men they are 100% committed to being with, and
  • Men they are 100% not interested in.

So if you’re not being tested, it’s because a woman either has written you off entirely as not a valid option, or she’s so entranced and in-love with you that she hasn’t a doubt in her mind that you are the one she wants to be with. An example of the former – the guy she’s written off – might be a guy she’s just friends with in a very platonic way. An example of the latter – the guy she’s head-over-heels with – might be a guy who’s in a local rock band and she knows exactly what she wants with him – a quick fling or one-night stand, for instance – and she’s fully committed to getting it.

Passing the Tests Women Give


See the entire article below


The first thing you’ll need to start successfully passing tests from women is a good understanding of the Law of Least Effort in social situations. You want to be getting maximal results with minimal visible effort when and wherever possible socially.

The impact a good understand of the Law has on your responses to testing is immediate. Once you know you shouldn’t be jumping up and down and bending over backward for women who haven’t already put in a similar level of investment for you (and even if they have put in a lot, you still don’t want to go too far), you’ll stop making some of the most common mistakes men make.

Here’s how women test men, with a handful of the more common tests you’ll see, and here to is how men often fail those tests:

Scenario One: Drinks

Girl: Will you get me a drink?

Man: Sure, definitely. What do you want?

Scenario Two: Hand on Her Arm or Leg

Girl: Would you mind not touching me like that? I don’t like being touched.

Man: Oh, sorry. [moves hand]

Scenario Three: Resistance

Girl: I can’t go sit with you, sorry; I have to stick close to my friends.

Man: Oh, okay.

Scenario Four: Temptation

Girl: So what is it you want to do with me, exactly?

Man: Umm… nothing! I just want to talk to you!

If you possess even a small degree of social intuition, you can feel in your gut that those responses to women are weak and wrong. As for women, they have a lot more than a mere modicum of social intuition, and those kinds of responses ring like alarm bells telling them the man responding this way is not a man of strength and self-possession. Quite often, a single weak response like this can be enough to sink you.

Think about that for a moment there: one weak response can derail an entire seduction.

That’s especially true early on; once a woman is fairly certain she likes you, and she’s invested in you, you’re allowed a little leeway, so if you slip up a bit later on, you stand better odds of getting a second chance than had you made a similar slip before she started feeling connected to you and before she became invested in you. This is why it’s so important to move fast with women and start on deep diving right away and get them investing in and connecting to you in a hurry. The sooner a woman’s invested in and connected to you, the fewer tests you’ll see, and the more slack you’ll be given if your responses aren’t perfectly on point at times.

Back to the tests themselves. Thing is, if you’re a beginner or you’re early in the intermediate phase of developing your skill set with women, even if you know these kinds of responses – where you put in too much effort by over-investing or by retreating on your positions or defending yourself – are wrong, you still do them anyway. Why is that?

It’s mostly because, until you’ve been battle-hardened a bit, you won’t be prepared to react. All the martial arts training in the world won’t do much to steel you against that first big fight you end up in; once you have a bunch of men socking you in the face, all those years of training go out the window and you fall back on pure instinct and defensiveness. It takes repeated exposure to situations where you’re getting physically hit to be able to remain calm and to follow your training despite the immediacy of the situation. This is every bit as true with meeting women and riding out tests; even when you know exactly how you ought to respond to a test, early on you’ll often find yourself defaulting to weak or defensive responses regardless.

Don’t beat yourself up too much over this; just recognize that you need more exposure and more time in the field meeting live women and experiencing the things women test men with in real life to develop the thick skin to it you need to remain calm and composed and follow your training.

Let’s have a look now at some examples of how a collected, self-assured man would reply to the same tests we used above from women. Facial expressions, body language, and tonality are all crucial here; a woman’s paying even more attention to what you communicate nonverbally than to what you say verbally when you respond to a test of hers. You want to be a sexy man and be charming and evocative as you reply – so don’t just work on the words; work on the delivery, too.





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