By Jim Campbell.
February 3rd, 2018
Forever the optimist, I tend to believe if couples want to work things out there are many new and older tools available to help them do so.
As in all things pertaining to interpersonal relationships give and take are required along with the determination to be successful.
The first thing that immediately comes to mind is that reading everyone’s thoughts would allow you to listen in on secrets (of course), on well-formed arguments, bits of insight, and allow you to be privy to moments of peace and brilliance.
With that, however, you would also stumble onto half-formed thoughts, hasty judgments, confused arguments, spurious justifications, conflicting desires, vanity, illogical reasoning, emotional outbursts, hate, and general nastiness.
It occurs to me that having access to everyone’s thoughts would basically be like…having a 24/7, unfiltered and indiscriminate fire hose of an RSS feed directly into your brain of every comment thread of every news, social media, and self-publishing site and be redundant and downright nasty at times, and have a general tendency to drag you down into fatigue and depression.
It would be noisy, because as much as I am optimistic about human nature, the internet has shown us that well-articulated thoughts are rare.
I will play devil’s advocate here and posit that people do not lack the ability to understand one another now!
Meaning, it’s not a lack of having access to others’ thoughts that prevents a real understanding.
I would hypothesize that the cause is a lack of patience and energy – or maybe more crucially, the motivation to understand.
Or more precisely, a lack of energy to summon the empathy.
It takes willpower and attention to conjure empathy, although some may be more efficient at it than others. And willpower and attention is scarce – a condition that would not be helped by even more noise!